Nick Cave On The Stages Of Grief


Nick Cave has claimed that the process of grief can be messier than love.

Cave made these comments in a recent interview where he was asked if he believes in the stage of “acceptance” as the final stage of grief, according to the Kübler-Ross model.

This model proposed the five stages of grief were, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These are the tools which help us find and identify with what we are feeling when we are grieving for a lost loved one.

“full of s***”

Speaking to Rolling Stone, Nick Cave dismissed the idea, insisting that it is “full of s***”. 

On the Kübler-Ross model, Cave said, “In my experience, the Kübler-Ross model of the stages of grief is full of s***. Grief portioned into orderly stages does not make sense, on any level”. 

“Grief, like love, is a mess. Grief manifests as awesome and Godlike. It was not about “acceptance,” which suggests a kind of ultimate returning to business as usual, rather it is an obliterating force that requires a kind of transmutation of being, where we turn from one thing into another thing”, he continued.

“The experience of losing my two sons was a reordering of one’s essential being. Ultimately, if we are lucky, we stop focusing on our own wounds and look to the wounds of the world”. 

When it comes to grief, Nick Cave has endured his fair share of pain.

His son Arthur died tragically eight years ago. He was 15 years old. Last year, another son Jethro Lazenby also died aged 31. 

Cave also thanked his fans for their support following his son’s death. More here.

Back in July, Nick Cave also revealed that he was close to “finishing” a new album with the Bad Seeds, via his Red Hand Files website.

More on this from Nova here.